Feeling free
I feel light when I feel free. The condition itself is a bit like exhaustion, but without any negative traits - things around me become blurred, I myself become floaty, and stop at least partly to register my surroundings. But all the colors are beautiful when I'm in this state. The despair about the world, the minor physical aches that seem to be the companion of every living being, and the utterances of daily living seem so minor, and all barriers seem naught. It seems that I can fly above them. Can you see the wonderful freedom that I've taken myself? When I was younger, I seeked to enter this state through the intense consumption of drugs; I once heard that the desire of the dissolution of boundaries is the core of every addiction. Eventually, I realized that it would never really work out, but would bind instead of freeing me. I found other ways: Physical exercise, perceiving and creating art, and meditation are possible ways for my escape. These flight routes come with their own risks: Self-doubt, over-strain, and - especially - detachment are the most noteworthy; some of them are potentially lethal - but they are all minor when compared to the futile utilization of drug abuse. Another naught way of escape is the usual bourgeois approach to try to enter the state of freedom by the accumulation and consumption of goods; it is easy to fall for this trap - a whole armada of psychologists, marketing experts, and rhetors is busy trying to convince us that it is possible to fill inner emptiness with exterior objects. That this happens all the time is as transparent as the fact that it will never work; still, this is the fuel to the world devouring fire that burns in the hegemonic systems oven. The great vehicle to set humanity free of this scourge might not exist; the small, individual path might seem both deficient and insufficient when seeing the state of things; but it at least does work for the individual now, and not as a potential promise for a indefinite far off future - and I believe to have recognized that those who are arrested in the worldly entanglement usually are behindered in their attempts to change the circumstances thyself fell prey for.